Social Rejection In Children

Not Always A Bad Thing

Rejection can come from an individual or a group of peers. In fact, sometimes it is a good thing. When a child learns to think for and trust his or herself, they will make choices that go against peer preferences. For example, your child may choose not to experiment with drugs, or take part in some other risky venture.

At that point, your child is to be congratulated and encouraged to continue to think for themselves. Much of the difficulty we experienced when young, and that our kids are now experiencing, is a direct result of peer pressure or other models of insanity they pick up along the way (media, T.V., video games etc.).

Dealing With The Rejection

Regardless of the type of rejection (bullying, ridiculing, teasing, silent treatment, being ignored), and how well prepared a child may be with self confidence and self esteem, it is still quite a challenge with which to deal. A child may just be shy, different, anxious or even overly assertive, and this can all lead to being picked on.

Each situation is unique. So design a strategy based on your child’s individual character and the type of rejection involved. There are many theories of child development that address this issue, but a little common sense, and close observation of the facts, will go a long way in resolving the social rejection challenge, and any child behavior issues that go along with it.

If your child is disruptive and aggressive, learning how to channel this energy more constructively will make it much easier to make and keep friends. If the child is really uptight about social settings and interactions, it may be wise to start with smaller groups (even one other child) with kids that are familiar, and move out from there. Getting kids together with common interests also works well, as they get engrossed in the activity and the social stuff tends to work itself out.

In extreme cases of bullying, a meeting with the teacher and/or parent(s) may be necessary. Whatever the exact circumstances, there are always solutions. Praising a child when he or she does well, and reinforcing their areas of passion and interest, will increase the self esteem of the child, and eventually make social rejection a non-issue in the child’s life. Click here to return to the Transforming Child Behavior Home page.

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