Self Criticism

Both strategies don’t make any sense, and only perpetuate the situation. Whether we blame, deny or complain, it doesn’t make any difference. We are fighting a losing battle. Any form of resistance, whether directed within or without, keeps us from experiencing the truth and fullness of the moment.

Mental Resistance

Mental resistance uses our thoughts against ourselves. Whether it’s misleading stories we buy into, or a refusal to recognize our own strengths and weaknesses, we get all caught up in the thought that things should not be this way. This one thought opens up an avalanche of other limiting thoughts and ideas about how things should be different.

These types of negative, limiting thoughts feed off each other. Before you know it you have a mental and emotional shutdown. When cut off from the present moment, we inhibit the natural flow of life’s energy.

It’s not about right or wrong. Instead, we must allow ourselves to open to what is actually occurring at the present moment without the self criticism and blame. We cannot change what we will not accept. Even when we do find a solution under this type of resistance, the problem will only pop up again under a different form and set of circumstances.

A Better Way

We can’t relax while beating ourselves up. Accepting that every aspect of our lives is full of challenge and uncertainty, allows us to fully embrace the present moment, and make meaningful changes. Aligning with the natural energy flow is a gradual and lifelong process.

If anger or sadness arises, embrace it fully. Don’t let that anger or despair fester within you, and become directed to some unrelated issues. Feeling the emotion does not mean you then validate all the negative, resistant thoughts that most likely will arise. Moments of passing anger or sadness are completely natural, but if they become frequent, you can be sure you are shutting down mentally and emotionally.

Pay attention to your thoughts, and recognize negative thoughts as a sign of resistance. When you are willing to let these thoughts go and not hold on to them, you are then open to new possibilities. You are less rigid, and able to recognize better solutions.

Self criticism is much different than recognizing a shortcoming, and making constructive changes. It is important for parenting workshops to address this issue, so that we realize that we are not at odds with ourselves or the world. When we resist nothing, we liberate ourselves. We make a home for love and acceptance.

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