Mixed Messages

Mixed messages are prevalent in all areas of our life. From business principles to philosophical systems, it gets rather confusing to determine what is valid. Since this is the case for adults, it is even more so for children, who are just beginning to learn, develop and make sense of their world.

We have all been subject to this, and still are. When raising children it’s important to teach them to think for themselves, and do their own research. As parents we need to learn to let go of our own baseless fears, and be careful not to deliver limiting beliefs and fears to our children’s subconscious minds.

When a child receives mixed messages, such as parental permissiveness at times, and strictness at other times for the same behavior, the child gets confused and may eventually act out. Many screaming children are the result of inconsistency in being held accountable, and failure in setting firm limits.

Taking Responsibility

We are all responsible for our lives. All of us, including our own parents, have done the best possible at the time. Sure genes play a role, but we must not get stuck in the total insanity of buying into genetic determinism. Check the “Epigenetics” page under the “Transform” link for more information about recent scientific discoveries. We are quite able to help our children reach their full potential. We definitely are not “blocked” by our genes or any limiting programming.

Misplaced Guilt and Blame

Many times we as parents can find it difficult to accept that we are personally responsible for everything in our lives, when our children are facing so many challenges. No matter what the situation, the path to wholeness and transformation is not reached by self imposed guilt, and looking for someone or something to blame.

As we learn to take charge of our lives, and become more empowering stewards for our children, it is helpful to realize that “once we become aware” we are then more able to accept responsibility for everything in our lives. No matter what mistakes we may have made as parents, we cannot be guilty of being a poor parent unless we were totally aware, and still chose to ignore our knowledge and intuition.

It’s an uphill battle to sort these things out, because of all the mixed messages coming at us from all directions in our society. Once we are aware, we can begin to reprogram our behavior and help our children do the same. Also we must remember that the best quality for growth for ourselves and our children is not the best school, most lucrative career, or even the most possessions. The most potent quality is quite simply “Love". Click here for the Transforming Child Behavior Home Page.

When done reviewing Mixed Messages, click here to return to The Models of Insanity page.

SBI!