Anger Management

Anger

Anger is an emotion that can range from a mild irritation to intense fury and rage. When we feel threatened, anger is a natural response. Also frustration can lead to anger when our desires and needs are not being met. When we get angry we can become violent, lose patience, or act impulsively. Anger does not necessarily lead to aggression where we threaten or act violently.

Hostility is the attitude that motivates aggression. It’s about disliking things and people, and making judgments. It’s important to learn how to manage anger effectively by changing hostile attitudes, and expressing anger in alternative ways. An integral part of anger management is preventative by taking the time to address these issues, and develop and practice new ways to respond when angry.

Health Challenge

When we get angry a lot it affects our health by stressing out our body, and reducing the efficiency of our immune system. This alone is motivation to get our anger under control. Increased heart rate and blood pressure are not the way to go.

Anger Is Habitual

There are many myths about anger like it’s inherited, it’s always good to vent, that you need to be aggressive to get ahead, and on and on. None of these are true. But one thing that is true is that it is a habit, and once into the routine it’s hard to break. It becomes an automatic response to many life situations. It is thought of as a way to solve problems without considering the negative consequences that can result.

Breaking The Habit

Not easy but doable. Child discipline is much more effective once anger is under control. Since we jump into anger without thinking, the first step is to catch ourselves in the act, and actually be “aware” that we are angry. This gives us back some control. At this point the battle still rages as we are defending our position, and don’t want to relinquish any ground.

The key is to be able to be with those uncomfortable feelings, and still make other choices such as not to hit or threaten. When dealing with kids, it’s imperative to intervene immediately before the child is lost in the emotion. Getting there early enough gives you a chance to break the pattern, and avoid the eruption.

Also understand ahead of time what people and circumstances trigger the anger, and what negative consequences you wish to avoid. This allows you to eliminate a lot of these triggers, and not put yourself into situations that can lead to upsets.

Manage It

Use both immediate and preventive strategies in your anger management tool belt. Things like deep breathing, changing thoughts, taking a timeout, changing beliefs, and developing an exercise program can all be effective.

Anger Cues

Become aware of some of the cues that ignite the anger based on some person or event. There are Emotional, Behavioral, Cognitive (Thoughts), and Physical cues. Stay alert for physical cues such as tightness in chest and rapid heartbeat, cognitive cues like images of violence and revenge, and hostile self talk, behavioral cues such as raising voice, staring, pacing and clenching of fists, and emotional ones like jealousy, fear, hurt and guilt.

We can go on and on with different aspects of this topic of anger management. At this point just understand that it’s an ingrained habit that will take time and dedication to first manage and control, and then ultimately eliminate. But this is so worth it, because you and your family are so worth it. Click here to return to the Transforming Child Behavior Home page.

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