Aggressive Children

Aggressive children can be quite a challenge. There are several strategies to support parents with behavior issues that arise because of aggression. Kids with aggression will antagonize others, argue and instigate fights, threaten, and even engage in self destructive behavior. Because of this, these children have few close friends.

The key here is that these kids have low self confidence, and compensate through aggressive behavior. They thrive on the attention gained through their behavior. These children has learned that power brings attention. They tend to become leaders through intimidation and force even though they have a poor self image.

Solutions

• When the child behaves well, provide immediate positive reinforcement in the form of praise so that the aggressive behaviors will reduce.

• Provide opportunities to be a positive leader.

• Separate the behavior from the person so that the child understands it’s the behavior and not him or her that is inappropriate.

• Teach accountability for behaviors, and provide alternatives on how to handle similar situations the next time.

• Do not ignore the behavior. Address it immediately.

• Do not power struggle with the child.

• Be assertive but also kind and gentle. The child really wants positive attention.

• Use behavior contracts to reinforce new behaviors.

• Being permissive parents does not work. Be authentic and genuine. Stay calm.

It’s imperative that children realize how much we care about them, and that they are very capable of doing well. Be patient, consistent, and loving to see the change desired. Also be a role model by expressing your emotions appropriately. There is no need to hide your feelings. Show support, love and compassion for others.

Aggressive children require a positive outlet for their energy. While dealing directly with the behavior, and holding the child accountable, the greatest gift is the power of love. Rumi, the Persian poet, says it very well:

Love is the cure

For your pain will keep giving birth to more pain

Until your eyes constantly exhale love

As effortlessly as your body yields its scent.